Toxic Masculinity - A Mental Health Issue

Toxic Masculinity - A Mental Health Issue 

When most of us think about masculinity, we picture a strong, capable, successful man.  One that defines manhood in all its glory.  However, what most of us fail to recognize is that masculinity also equates to a societal standard that has been perpetrated throughout history.  It has become normal for men to display acts of toughness and achievement.

But, what if I told you that this is toxic behavior that leads to mental health issues in our society?

In this post, I'm going to discuss a few reasons why toxic masculinity should be considered an epidemic that requires intervention.

What is Toxic Masculinity, Exactly?

Toxic masculinity can be defined as "strategic enactments of masculinities that are harmful to both the men who enact them and the people around them" (Wade & Ferree, 148).  In other words, a man acting like a "real man" can be considered both dangerous and destructive.

The Dangers of Masculinity

Ultimately, danger and destruction lead to physical and mental health issues such as injuries and depression.  What's worse?  Men are more likely to die by suicide and/or commit violent acts against others (Wade & Ferree, 145).

So, how does this happen in a society that was founded on men's behavior?

Compensatory Masculinity

In the face of a threat, men may rely on their masculinity or manliness to compensate for their fear of becoming less than.  They refuse to be seen as weak or defenseless and this correlates to a suppression of emotions.  And, men that are out of touch with their emotional self have a difficult time balancing between right and wrong which further instigates their fears and leads to those aforementioned violent acts, on themselves and others.

Hypermasculinity

Even without threat, some men may conform to more aggressive behaviors simply because it is considered acceptable and natural in our society.  They refuse healthcare when they are ill or "resist the sensation of empathy" (Wade & Ferree, 144) which lends to the notion that they are not only harming themselves but also a threat to others.

Is Toxic Masculinity a Mental Health Issue?

When we see men defining themselves as hypermasculine or compensating for their fears, we notice the toxicity of this concept of manliness.  As it is further infiltrated in society within families, corporations, and even every day dialogue, we can see that this is a very serious issue to consider as one of a mental health nature.  From the corporations that run on the fuel that is masculine behavior instilling stress in our workforce to the broken families with wives and children that suffer from such debilitating issues such as PTSD, to the endless wars fought around the world that establish more PTSD and drug or alcohol addiction, toxic masculinity has developed a society that suffers.  And, it's almost completely out of control.  Society has gone mad, in a sense, based on these characteristics that most of us think is pretty damn normal. 

It's time to consider toxic masculinity for what it is.  A virulent epidemic for which we must find a cure.

Sources

Wade, Lisa.  Ferree, Myra Max.  (2019).  Gender - Ideas, Interactions, Institutions.  N.W. Norton & Company, Inc.  New York, London.

Google Plus'in It

It's been quite a moment since I've posted anything here folks - yet, there is always something happening in the mind of a writer so don't dare misinterpret these last months of silence as absence of mind.

After all, it was just a few short months ago I spoke of success... it feels good - remember? -

The thing about success, to review, is that it doesn't come easy.  Something I forgot to mention about success however, is that beside work, it takes having a network.  There is more to writing than just writing.  The networking part is just as important. And in order to network this day in age, a lot of folks are turning to the internet.

They are turning to Google + (that's Google Plus for some of you) that is.  It's an online portal connecting the entire world.
I use it to connect with both my colleagues in India and New York - I'm in California, USA. . .  It's instantaneous! And it's amazing.


To get to the point, this week, I present to you a guest post from another successful writer.  We have connected through the health and fitness genre where we both focus energies toward our writing endeavors.

All About Google Plus, a Professional Playground

Written by Dana R.

Google Plus (Google+), is number one on the list of my top three favorite social media sites next to Twitter and Instagram.  Upon its launch in 2011 it was reported to have a growing rate of millions of users daily.  I  find Google+ the most beneficial overall for its superior networking capabilities and direct format.  I would describe Google+ as a professional playground for adults who desire to connect and share ideas, knowledge, and expertise, through plus ones (+1s) and #hashtags.

I find its most distinct feature,  how the user is able to group  their followers according to similar interests called circles. They say, keep your circles tight!
The following are a short description of frequently used Google+ terms followed by tips I find most helpful.

Google+ Terms

Google Plusses or Plus Ones (+1s) - The +1 button is found on the bottom-left of a post. It is used to indicate a like or appreciation of something one posts.  

Circles - Groups of Google+ users that are organized into categories that you invent.  For example, I have an author's circle for my fellow writers and a fitness circle for fellow fitness enthusiasts.  
Hangouts - Videoing or private messaging with one or more Google+ users.  
Hashtags - Are labels or keywords.  When posting it is imperative to use #hashtags with your post. It is how others find you.   
Google+ Stream - Is where you find updates of individuals in your circles - a stream of data.
H.I.R.L. - Hang-out in Real Life was most popular in 2012 and 2013 when local Google+ members  met in person in groups at a predetermined location for a social gathering.

Dana’s Google+ Tips

Build a Network - As an avid and frequent Google+ user since early 2012, I find searching for Google+ users through #hashtags one of the best tools thus far.  It is how I built a solid Google Plus network of 10,000 plus followers.  On a monthly basis, I search for authors and writers who have current postings on topics of my liking. You search by entering a keyword or #hashtag via the Google Plus search box. I do not simply circle them. I interact with them and start discussions.

Post Publicly - When you have a newly published article, share with the world! It's how you are discovered. I used to post privately or with only certain circles because I was afraid of non-professional or crude comments.  Google Plus didn't make a block feature or delete comment option for no reason. If you find a comment offensive, delete it, it's your stream.
Keep an Updated Profile - I cannot tell you how many times I have received circle requests with no picture or a blank profile. I deny these requests as I feel the individual is not serious about networking and sharing information.  Keep it simple and professional, you do not have to include too much data on your profile but at least put your likes, interests, purpose, and links to any website you'd like to showcase. Do not forget a picture!
I've professionally networked on more than one occasion through  Google+ which led to valid writing opportunities. I've also gained knowledge and mentionable mentors and guides throughout my Google+ experience.  It’s honestly a suburb social media site if used properly.

References:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/faster-forward/post/google-plus-could-be-the-fastest-growing-site-in-history/2011/08/03/gIQA9x2vrI_blog.html

http://sproutsocial.com/insights/google-plus-definitions/

Dana holds her MBA from the University of Maryland University College and also has a BS in Psychology. She is knowledgeable about various topics via both research and personal experience.  She enjoys researching topics such as, social media, fitness, health, work from home opportunities, relationships, education and much more. Her work experience includes clerical and management experience in the healthcare industry.  She also enjoys writing POV, poetry and fiction. For professional and business opportunities she can be reached at danarockauthor@gmail.com or danaarev@gmail.com. Samples of her writing can be found here: Tools for Virtual Assistant Success, 365daysofhealthandfitness.com, and Work From Home.

Success Feels Good

Some days we wonder what we’re really striving for.  What were our real goals in life anyway?  We had set out with all these intentions, setting our aspirations when we were young and some things just didn’t play out as planned.  Most times it didn’t play out as planned.  This is the reason why - when success finally hit, the kind of success you thought you would have before now… it’s really awesome.

Awesome is defined as something that leaves you in awe and wonder.  When something happens that leaves you wondering how and why this great thing has occurred, well, it’s better than awesome, it’s purely delightful.  Inspiration hits at a whole new level.  Procrastination turns to motivation and hopelessness is diminished.  

The bottom line is - success feels good!

Don’t get me wrong - it’s not all peaches and cream at first.  Success obviously requires hard work.  Lots of different kinds of hard work too… depending on what your goal is.

Mine was to become a published author… and even while this dream has come true - I’m not done working hard to accomplish even more.  I mean, why stop here?  There is so much more out there when you really want it bad enough.

Besides, the purpose of success is to accomplish something.  Accomplishments don’t just stop happening once you’re on a roll.  In fact, if you’re really set on something… usually the universe will just hand it over to you.

Success doesn’t come easy some say.

Well, sure it does.  It’s based on your level of happiness.  If you are happy achieving your goals, the success comes easier than you may think.  

Because you see, success is not all about the accolades and the paycheck.  It’s all about being happy in the first place.  Be one with and within yourself and the success will come naturally.

And it will feel good!  And you will be even happier.  

Artificial Intelligence

This week there are a few open projects on my computer screen.  After having a minor surgery last week, I have been away from the desk for a few days.  This doesn’t bode well for keeping up with deadlines.  It’s a good thing I type super fast.  My fingers just seem to hit the keyboard with ease.  I barely need to think about what I’m saying.  It’s like my fingers are my brains….

The way they glide across the keyboard when the inspiration hits.  The best part is when the inspiration hasn’t even hit and the fingers are flying anyway.  This is what makes for a good paper.  Just fingers hitting the keyboard.  Saying something that may or may not make sense at first, but somehow seems to fit together in the end.

So it seems there is nothing blocking these fingers from typing out a masterpiece except my very own brain!

Consider this - in today’s ever forward moving technological world, we are constantly searching for shortcuts.  Applications now offer smart technology that predicts the words one will use according to the words used in the past and/or words that seemingly would fit with what one is trying to say.  

Isn’t this just a little curious?  Can my keyboard really know what I’m about to say before I’m about to say it?  I can understand this when it comes to the tablet or the smartphone, but what about the computer.  Mine is a Chromebook - it’s Google!  Oh no!

Artificial Intelligence is a very real thing currently making its way into our very real lives every day.  My only concern is that it seems to me, I haven’t even typed this article.  I think my fingers did it, with a little help from the keyboard.  

When the Sun Don't Shine

The universe is a funny place.  Sometimes it can really take a dump on your head.  Other days, you wake up to the sun beaming rays upon your face and you know the skies have something good in store for you.

For those days when the sun just will not shine… it becomes imperative to draw up even more inspiration and creativity than on those mornings when everything just seems right to begin with.  

You are forced to search for it, whereas sometimes you just FEEL it.  It is just there, granting your every wish.  

The cursor stares at you, screaming for you to finish up the project that you have barely started because your inspiration is lacking to a level whereupon your fingertips won’t even type a line of bullshit.  You find yourself struggling even while your ultimate goal is less than five hundred words.  What is that all about?!

Well, it’s about not clearing your mind.  Allowing the story to form as you write.  The story is in your head, but you can’t possibly get it all out at once.  Depending of course, on how fast you type and how fast you think.  

You have been staring at this particular page for going on five hours now and you’ve got less than three hundred words, even while all you are trying to achieve is the aforementioned five hundred.  What seems to be the problem?  Five whole hours and not done?!  Something is not right.

Let go of your inhibitions.  Just write what falls out of your fingertips while not thinking about anything at all.  That should get something done.  Even if they are not the words you thought originally intended, usually, they have more than something to do with your thesis point.  Somewhere along the line you may feel the need to arrange things better.  In the meantime, blossoms are appearing in front your eyes.  The sun is starting to shine and the clouds are drifting away.  

Now go get a shower and get that shit off your head.  

Keep Writing

“The first draft of anything is shit!” - this quoted by the late, great Ernest Hemingway.  What an inspiration to us all.  Ernest that is - and his quote.  Many of them in fact.

I said “Continue forth”  in a recent quote to a fellow writer.  He had just started the first draft of his first story only hours before.  When asked whether or not I thought it was good - I told the truth.  It WAS good and it WILL be better!  

It’s all about perspective.  The same old adage, it’s so worn out is it not? - Is the glass half full or half empty?  Well…. it IS half FULL of course!

Should this apply to every scenario, however? - For the writer, yes!  It is imperative that the writer continuously view his or her work as priceless from the beginning.  Shit as it may be.  There is precise reasoning behind this.  It is a masterpiece in disguise.  Art can be made out of anything.  Dare I say it, well, yes, including Shit.

Herein, one must recognize the story waiting to be told even where the bullshit piles up.  Either in your thoughts or on your paper.  Once you can remember to remind yourself that every word thought up is important enough to write down - you will continue to write.  This again, is the key to any good writer as any good writer will say - keep writing.  Every day.  Set the time of day that works best for you, may it be only five minutes?  okay - do it for five minutes at six o’ clock each night.  Whence Upon a time comes when you may feel that you need to dedicate more time to the craft, you will.  

In the meantime, write it down.  It is NOT too blended and so what if the main character has blond hair today and black hair tomorrow.  Perhaps she has a doppleganger after all?  You just don’t know it yet because you haven’t written everything down.

Keep Writing - the rest of the story needs to be told.

 

Getting Paid

Tastes good, that first dollar in your pocket after writing something for someone else.  Makes you crave more dollars.  Like a tattoo - imbedded in your skin forever.  Still, the addiction surges through you for more - more tattoos… Soon you may be completely covered in ink -

The analogy fits here, don’t you think - the INK?! -

There is a new fixation within your writing.  You become immersed.  Writing about everything you see.  Everything you hear becomes a new story.  Every dream is more elaborate than before.  Continuously finding yourself with a pen in hand, the artist within you scrawls out upon the pages scattered about your desk.  All of them.  Every scrap of note, every draft document, every piece of poetry lying about.   The ink sinks into the pages like the needle to your skin.

This craving, you see, has everything and nothing to do with MONEY.  

Getting paid is about the instinct to survive.   Or might one say “instINKed”.  Ha!     

It is about sustenance.  Bills getting paid, car repairs getting taken care of. ...  Maybe there is a little left over for that new tattoo.  A permanent illustration of the ink on your paper which provided this image - placed just ever so delicately upon your largest living organ as a noticeable embodiment of your being.  Just as those words left impression enough on your client(s), whom paid you enough to even survive IN this skin.

That first dollar goes on the wall and the rest will go to the budget.  For none other than ink, and other supplies that every writer needs.  It will simmer there, leaving room for the want... the NEED for MORE.  More clients.  More content.  More tattoos.  More Success!

Cha Ching!